Welcome back to another exciting installment of our on-going pursuit of rad album covers. Today we will be covering a range of radical imagery, including war, nudity, space-travel, bestiality, and punches to the face. Let's begin.
Parliament - 5 Classic Albums, 2016
Truly there are none more funky than George Clinton, and of all his contributions to the world, there is none more funky than Parliament. Our evidence for this claim is rested entirely on this album cover for the band's 5 album collection, which knocks it out of the park and into the stratosphere in terms of its coolness. Though released in 2016, it features that slightly yellowed print look of the 70s from which Parliament hailed, a look that greatly compliments the scene in which Mr Clinton rides two dolphins in fur flairs and a cowboy hat as he holds a boombox to his ear, whilst another Mr. Clinton watches on from a spacecraft in the distance. Now take the time to give a quick Google of the best albums of 2016 and check out the covers of those albums. Boring, minimal, colourless shite. But this? This is powerful stuff.
Kansas - Audio-Visions, 1980
When I think of Kansas, I think of olden-timey America, boats, and that shoutey bearded bloke adorning the album covers; these images are so infused with the band's image in fact that Kansas chose to incorporate them all into the cover of their best of album. At the turn of the 80s however, I suppose Kansas decided to take their image up a notch with some deliciously sci-fi visuals, taking form of a giant robot man projecting the band's name into the skies from a TV screen, while two lady heads which also double as headphones lick his ear holes sensually. What we believe to be Kansas can also be seen performing in an illuminated dome beneath all of this. The album may have been a bit of a flop with only the track Hold On surviving the test of time, but Kansas' decision to embrace the cheesy technological aesthetic of the 80s was pretty rad.
Bolt Thrower - Realm of Chaos, 1989
English death metal band Bolt Thrower decided it was a no-brainer to base their second album on the world of Warhammer 40k, the tabletop wargame based within a futuristic universe where there is nothing but war. An entire universe of aliens making the unanimous decision to butcher each other for all eternity- now that's metal. Their decision to write songs about 40k landed them some backing from Gamesworkshop, who allowed the band to name their album after one of their recently released novels, and even designed their cover art. The band would go on to release further albums not tied to the 40k universe or any other Gamesworkshop IPs, however no album cover since has matched the majesty of a dozen or so space marines blind firing at an unknown enemy as they are riddled with space bullets. Radical.
Black Flag - Slip it in, 1984
Black Flag's albums always looked rad, but if I were to pick one out above the rest it would have to be Slip it in. The artwork by punk artist veteran Raymon Pettibon features a nun wrapped around a man's bare leg, with the tagline which essentially indicates this nun is a bit of a ho, if her current predicament hadn't already given it away. Pretty antagonistic stuff, and that bright red colour is just begging for your attention - perhaps hoping to act as a quite literal red flag to any uptight parents of the 80s stumbling upon it on their child's bedroom floor.
Bloodhound Gang - A Hefty Fine, 2005
We live in an era now where the juvenile bands of the 90s and 00s are well and truly gone, either opting to disband due to lack of interest, or trying to pass themselves off as serious artists, ala Blink 182. Sing about complex feelings all you want boys, you still wrote songs about fucking dogs and grampas. Bloodhound Gang meanwhile continue to solider on as they always have, and of their many crass album cover offerings, all bow down to A Hefty Fine. The rather incredible model featured on the cover is a man named Carlin Langley, who got the gig by sending the band photos of himself blowing dudes. He wasn't even asked to do it, he just felt it was the right thing to do. You shall live on in legend, Carlin Langley.
Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band - American Made, 1999
I'm not sure who agreed to give Hulk Hogan, his wife, and a couple of other wrestlers a record deal, but given the universal panning of the few albums they dropped before disbandment I can't imagine anyone will be fessing up soon. Whoever designed the cover though deserves a little credit though, because it is pretty rad. Everything here looks super bitching, especially Hogan's personalised Hulkster axe, but what really seals the deal is that look of desperation in Hulk's eyes. No matter where you look at the cover, you can see them, staring back at you, crying out for help.
Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine - You Fat Bastard, 2007
You Fat Bastard is Carter's two-disc anthology album which contains singles they released between 89-'98. Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine is a pretty cool name for a band, and when coupled with the title You Fat Bastard it really does make for great reading material for their album cover. But they didn't stop there. We then have the added bonus of Godzilla, adorned in some sweet shades, holding a bomb. Fun fact, the album was named You Fat Bastard after Jon Beast, who used to come out on stage, usually naked, before sets to rile the crowd up. They would chant you fat bastard at him you see, and thus the two disc album was named.
Sabaton - Heroes, 2014
How rad is war? Well, it isn't really, but Sabaton's style of immortalising the heroic deeds of those who fought in war for freedom and righteousness is pretty rad. On the cover of Heroes we are presenting with a perfect representation of the band's lyrical themes, as we see an American GI smacking a German foot soldier's block off in the midst of an intense battle. I mean the GI full on clobbers this fool, his evident rage funneling solely into that fist which looks like its broken the guy's goddamn neck upon contact. War may be hell, but if I had to pick one positive to ever come out of it, it's probably Sabaton and their rad album covers. That and Full Metal Jacket.
Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power, 1992
Following on from the previous album's set theme of "people getting punched in the face", we have Vulgar Display of Power by Pantera. Pantera may have dropped off the scale of rad in recent years, what with it's most vocal surviving member Phil Anselmo digging himself a deeper and deeper "totally a racist" hole every time he opens his mouth, but one cannot deny how rad their contributions to metal scene were. I bring before you then the album Vulgar Display of Power, which came about after the band stated to their label that they wanted "something vulgar, like a dude getting punched." From this came the grainy photo of a man named Sean Cross, with a fist buried into the side of his face. I appreciate an album that is able to give you a visual representation of the music within, and Vulgar certainly feels like a punch in the face.
NOFX - Heavy Petting Zoo, 1996
When Heavy Petting Zoo was unleashed upon the world, some loved it, others didn't. Sweden and Finland seemed to love it, as it debuted in both countries at no. 13 in the carts, meanwhile in Austria it managed a 20. In the states it only managed a 63rd position. Germany meanwhile definitely did not love it, as it wasn't so hot on the whole bestiality thing. They decided to ban distribution of the record, and confiscate any copies on sale at the time. The reason for this? The offending vinyl version featured slightly different artwork, the difference being the man and sheep were now pictured 69'ing each other under the alternate title "Eating Lamb". On the back of both albums the man can be seen about to tuck into some roast mutton to further shock and appall the viewer.. Bestiality might not be very rad, but purposefully pissing people off with heavy references to bestiality sure is.
And there you have it, another ten pieces of album art that have earnt the title of "rad album covers". Join us in the not-so-distant future for another exciting installment of other people's hard work which I have then wrote somewhat humorous and insightful paragraphs underneath, but for now I shall leave you with another honourable mention.
Mike Adkins - Thank You For the Dove, unknown year
Mike sure seems pretty psyched to have this dove in his hands. This Justin Fletcher lookalike brings before us a bountiful album of praise and worship, with such bangers including "What's Wrong With My Children", "Jesus is the Bridge", and the sinister sounding "Do You Know What I Did Mister". What looks like a magnification of a Bob Ross painting behind him just adds to the tranquil nature Mr. Adkins conveys, who just really wanted to tell us how thankful he is for this dove. It's a hell of a dove action shot too, something you just don't see a lot of these days.
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