Following on from yesterday's look at the games of 2018, here's my listing for the films I've seen released this year, and what I thought of them. Most of them were pretty good, a couple were incredible, but then a couple more were not so great. Here we go.
- Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - 12th January -
Fuck man, Three Billboards is a roller-coaster. You'll find yourself at one scene chuckling away to yourself at the barb-like dialogue and outlandish scenarios put before you, and the next you're emotionally crippled by what has just transpired on screen. In these pivotal moments you're suddenly uncomfortable to find anymore comedy in the story of Billboards, as the characters suddenly feel all too real and laughing at the misfortune of real people put before you doesn't seem like such a nice thing to do anymore. But then somehow by the next scene there's a smile on your face again. The story is so hard-hitting and grim, the characters are flawlessly portrayed, and the comedy and tragedy are interlaced to perfection. I won't go into plot details too much but what I will say is it takes you on a journey through the lives of these seemingly forgotten people in this forgotten town, and how hard they fight to have their voices heard to obtain what they want.
For Mildred, it's justice for the murder of her daughter she wants. For the people of the town, though mostly the local police force, it's for Mildred to stop her crusade to give the police a bad name, which she hopes will push them to re-open the murder case of her daughter. As you can imagine this causes a series of butting heads, but it's how hard these heads butt that really makes Billboards a masterpiece, not to mention the things you just never see coming, much of which was kept out of the trailers, thank fuck. I honestly cannot praise this film enough, I would confidently call it my film of the year, but seeing as though its competition is Rampage I suppose it's a hollow victory.
Should you watch it? Fuck. Yes. You're doing yourself a disservice if you don't. Prepare yourself though, this one is gonna hit you real hard.
- Shape of Water - 18th January -
I love Del Toro's movies, so I was very excited to see Shape of Water, even though I initially thought he'd just churned out an Abe origins film for a new Hellboy universe. I'm very glad I just misread the trailer. Shape of Water was good, but I don't know how bothered I am about watching it again. I've watched Pan's Lab plenty of times, ditto for Orphanage and Devil's Backbone - hell I even watched Crimson Peak a couple of times. Shape of Water however just felt like a one time fling, a very nicely shot film with some excellent acting, but nothing much in terms of the story that'd make me want to willingly revisit it.
Don't get me wrong, the story was interesting, but once I saw it played out my appetite was well and truly fulfilled. The song and dance scene? Very good. The scene with the racist dude in the ice cream parlor? Also very good. But still, nothing feels enough to bring me back round to it. Maybe the whole fish sex thing messed up my experience, because I do remember feeling genuine discomfort imagining how bad the thing's fish and egg combo breath must've smelt. Give it a year, maybe I'll give it a call again sometime.
Should you watch it? Definitely, despite the fact you may only visit it the once, it's worth the visit. Kinda like Euro Disney.
- Black Panther - 12th February -
I was really enjoying Black Panther, up until Killmonger defeats T'Challa for right to the throne. After this the film set itself firmly on the rails on track towards the "it's a Marvel plot" station. This is what prevents me ever really connecting with a Marvel film as scummy as that may sound; I know where the train is going, I've been so many times that I'm really not interested in looking out the windows and taking in the scenery anymore. I just want to get to the station so I can get up and get off.
Up until this pinnacle moment though I wasn't really sure where Black Panther was going. The opening scene made me feel as though this film could take a fresh route unseen in this franchise, and it was very exciting to watch and see what lied ahead. My optimism was warranted up until the midway point however, and after this all my interest was lost. It bummed me out because I had some real high hopes for Black Panther given the rave reviews, but I guess you gotta take what you get , and I suppose I can't give grief to a Marvel film for being like a Marvel film either. Still though, it entertained me much more than any other recent Marvel film has, so props to it.
Should you watch it? I could go either way with this one, it has it's moments.
- The Monkey King 3 - 16th February -
I didn't even know they'd made a Monkey King 1 and 2 when I found Monkey King 3 while scrolling through an in-flight film selection this year, and I knew I didn't want to watch The Greatest Showman so I decided to watch this instead. I'm very glad I did too. It was such a weird film, but it had that little something about it that made me reminisce of fantasy family films of yester-years. Silly costumes and big whimsical settings, monster fights and true love and all that stuff, it's all here and it makes for a charming little flick.
I really cannot pass up on the opportunity to tell you how weird it is though. There's a point in the story where three of the main characters, all male, get pregnant after going in this magical pond that gets you pregnant, because they're in a land where it's all women and they need a magical impregnating pond in order to get knocked up. The monkey king then has to go buy some miscarriage juice to kill their babies, and the whole scenario has the characters discussing in great depth the morality of killing an infant. Weird shit. There's also a scene where Buddah comes down from heaven and just fucks some dude's shit up for being an un-Buddhist prick, which is possibly one of the coolest things I've seen in a film this year.
Should you watch it? It's pretty niche, but I'd recommend it. It is genuinely funny at points, and there's a few sweet and tender little scenes which may warm your fuzzies and such. Just a daft wee fantasy adventure film.
- Isle of Dogs - 30th March -
Wes Anderson decided to make another stop-frame animation but didn't base it on an existing IP. Cool. The outcome is Isle of Dogs, set in a world where Japan banishes all its dogs to a garbage island in fear of catching a disease from them, and everything just follows on from there in that quirky Wes Anderson charming way. It certainly looks visually pleasing, even when the screen is littered with rabid and flea-bitten animated dogs or Japanese children with pipes in their heads, and the plot is sweet enough minus a somewhat meh ending.
The film got a little bit of shtick for having American actors voicing Japanese dogs, but I don't really get all the hubbub there as I don't really see the issue in a dog from Japan not having a Japanese accent. Dogs speak a different language to Japanese people - it's called dog, so if Mr Anderson wishes to translate dog to American, what's the big deal? There was also an American girl leading the pro-dog campaign in Japan which no one else seemed to get a hair up their ass about. I'm glad this issue died a death, as it'd be a shame to have Isle of Dogs tainted by bullshit given it is a charming little flick. Big name voice cast, quirky and tender scenes, and lots of pretty things to look at on screen. Rabid dogs are rad.
Should you watch it? Yeah, go on.
- Rampage - 11th April -
I watched Rampage with pretty low expectations, which is probably why I enjoyed it so much. It's a dumb film which should be enjoyed with the lights and your brain usage turned down, something I imagine the writers knew they were doing which allowed for them to make the perfect enjoyable dumb movie. There's no message here, they could have easily gone the Godzilla route and shoehorned in a few pro-environmental messages and the folly of man into Rampage, but they didn't - and that's the kind've decisions you need to make when writing a solid dumb movie.
The mastermind villains can be a little grating, but that's the only thing that really bothered me enough to list it as a negative. The Rock teams up with his best pal George, an albino gorilla who can use sign language, to fight a giant wolf and a giant crocodile, because an evil company made a thing that makes animals really big and pissed off when they have it, and the evil company gonna use it for evil stuff but The Rock isn't going to let that happen because he is the hero. If this concept doesn't spark any interest in you then Rampage isn't for you, however as someone with a soft spot for giant monsters just smashing the shit out of stuff this worked just fine. The film is also surprisingly graphic which was a welcome surprise, plenty of blood is sprayed which you just don't see in "family" films anymore. There's also a scene where George flips someone off, and there's a part where a Rampage arcade cabinet has been unnecessarily dumped into the background of a scene where it really has no place. If this isn't doing anything for you then fuck it, I tried didn't I?
Should you watch it? Yeah, yeah you should I reckon.
- Deadpool 2 - 16th May -
I got maybe half an hour into Deadpool 2 and I lost all interest. It was okay, but it didn't really feel like it was anything beyond what Deadpool 1 was, and I thought Deadpool 1 was pretty forgettable itself. I didn't really care about his love interest in the first outing so seeing the outcome of that in the opening scene of the second film didn't really phase me much, so I figured nothing else beyond this would either. I don't really know what else to say, it was showing exciting stuff on screen, but it all just felt really boring. Boring excitement. That's the superhero genre.
Should you watch it? Some people really like the Marvel output and thought Deadpool was one of the best films of all time. I'm indifferent to the Marvel output and I thought Deadpool was okay. So I say no, but I know there's a lot of people who will say yes. But I say no.
- Jurassic World : Fallen Kingdom - 6th June -
Jurassic World : Fallen Kingdom sucked noodles. The most uninteresting characters of the franchise return once again to dick about on dinosaur island to gain very little but leave many dead in their wake. There's some chick who talks smack to a soldier saying how she knows what she's doing operating on a dinosaur because she's a strong woman, however she definitely knows jack shit because she's already stated she's never operated on a dinosaur before. There's an auction underneath a mansion where the bad guys sell off dinosaurs to mercenaries/Russians which is just dumb as shit.
There's a load of people campaigning to save the dinosaurs from a volcano despite the fact everyone has always seemed pretty much unanimous that the dinosaurs shouldn't even be here in the first place. The leader of this campaign incidentally is the character most affected by the previous dinosaur-related disaster. The bad guys spliced the DNA of the Indrominus Rex with a raptor to make an Indo-Raptor despite the fact Indrominus Rex already had raptor DNA in it. A little girl who turns out to a be clone of a different and deader little girl lets all the dinosaurs loose on America because she thinks they should be alive, seemingly oblivious to how shit it'll be for those dinosaurs when they either starve to death or are hunted down. The Indo-Raptor winks at the camera before it eats a guy it tricked into climbing into its cage, and the guy only did that because he likes to collect dinosaur teeth which is a characteristic set up in one single earlier scene where he's just taking dinosaur teeth for some reason. There is a sad scene with a Brachiosaurus though which got a reaction out of me I'm ashamed to admit, but then the director pulled a JK Rowling and ruined it by forcing in some unnecessary trivia that it was the same Brachiosaurus from that one bit in first Jurassic Park to make it sadder. Fucked it, mate.
Should you watch it? Fuck no. Avoid like the plague.
- Hereditary - 15th June -
June was not a good month for moi in terms of film releases, as the previous, current, and next films on this list will show. Out of these three films though I was most excited for this film, Hereditary - it was produced by the same folk who brought us The VVitch two years back, critics were lauding it as "this generation's Exorcist", and the trailer gave me very little plot information but got across the grim and uneasy feeling I was hoping to see in it. I therefore went in expecting a clever, intense, and genuinely scary horror film the likes of which I hadn't seen before, and I left severely disappointed on all fronts. The film follows in a similar vein as the VVitch, in that we have a family unit torn apart and turned against itself by a malevolent supernatural force, but where the VVitch was interesting Hereditary was boring as fuck. Silly me expecting a game-changing horror film that sets a new bar like Exorcist did, when what critics really meant when drawing similarities was "there's some demons about the place." Fucking dire. What's worse still is the smug attitude I've witnessed brandished by cinema elitists online when faced with criticism of this film, "oh," they say through a shit eating grin. "You just didn't understand it, I mean this is a true horror film, not your average jumpscare big release."
Fuck that shit, there's nothing clever about Hereditary's plot. It's boring and predictable with a dozen or so cliches folded in tightly in hopes you'll see past them. Well I saw them, and they weren't pretty. I looked up online some of the glowing reviews and articles analysing the films to see if, maybe, I was wrong and I'd missed something. Nope, everything I got from the film is what the critics saw too. Still, were there any redeeming features you might ask? Were any of the characters interesting, or at least making intelligent decisions unlike your usual horror film victims? Well I'll let you be the judge. We've got a kid with a nut allergy who decides to help herself to food at a strangers' house without asking if it contains nuts, which is a huge issue because as previously established in the film no one in this family is capable of ensuring she has a fucking epipen on her or within her vicinity at any given time. I had a great deal of issue with this character overall, I mean don't get me wrong the actor played a solid performance but it doesn't mask how fucking irritating a character she is, most notably her little "click" noise she constantly makes, which was of course echoed throughout the cinema by idiots while I watched it. Sure it has it's moments, the whole film is well shot, the sudden shock that hits the audience following the house party sure hit hard, as did the subsequent breakdown of the family which sparked my interest and were acted wonderfully, but fuck me a twenty minute shining section of a movie does not make up for the other hundred being absolute dog shit. American family deals with possession and demons? Fucking yawn, just give me Rampage again.
Should you watch it? Fuck no. Not unless you intend to just show off to all your friends how smart you are for "getting" it.
- Sicario 2 : Day of the Solado - 29th June -
I went to go see Sicario with my step-dad, because I like seeing films with my step-dad, and he likes films that are all gritty and have crimes and grim endings. Sicario is a gritty film with crimes, it doesn't have that grim of an ending, but there's some grim stuff just scattered around the film instead so it still ticks all of my step-dad's boxes. I haven't seen Sicario 1 but I don't think you really need to to see Sicario 2 - from what I'm aware everyone is really serious and angry in Sicario 1 and they are still serious and angry in Sicario 2 so I guess it's like how you don't need to see Iron Man 1 to figure out what's going on in Iron Man 2.
Sicario 2 is about these police guys who are given a super secret missions by the government to go into Mexico and cause some ruckus in order to make the cartels do a thing so then the police can do another thing to the cartel which is what they want to do but they can't do it until the cartel do their thing first. Things go all wrong though and the government doesn't want to do the thing anymore but the good guys are already doing the thing so now they have to stick to the thing but without any help from the government, which makes things really, really hard for everyone. You'll notice I said good guys, though I should really point out that no one seems to really be a good guy here; it's one of those "both sides are baddies if you think about it" movies. It was alright though, a lot of people got shot. The film was definitely in its element when people were getting shot. My step-dad said it was better than Sicario 1.
Should you watch it? My life has been completely unchanged by seeing Sicario 2. I imagine it'd be the same if you saw Sicario 2, too.
- Puppet Master : The Littlest Reich - 17th August -
The Puppet Master franchise is still going strong after 13 films. That's 13 low-budget horror films about a bunch of magical Nazi puppets that are sometimes Nazis but other times are not. Currently we're in a Nazi puppet timeline, hence the inclusion of "Littlest Reich" in the title. It reminds me a little of how in some sagas Godzilla is a good guy and in others he's the bad guy - the canon and timelines for both series are completely as mismatched as each other too, hell there's even a film where Godzilla fights the US army in World War 2 which kind've makes him a Nazi, if you think about it. So Puppet Master and Godzilla are very alike.
In Littlest Reich a bunch of people are meeting at a hotel to sell their antique puppets designed by a crazy dude who worked for the Nazis, when the crazy dude everyone thought was dead reanimates them all in his electric shed and they begin to kill everyone. They take preference in killing Jewish, black, gay, and traveler characters first, because they're Nazis and that's kinda their deal, but they do also kill some straight white people too because they simply got in the way, and Nazis don't appreciate you getting in the way of their Nazi endeavours. The film is as dumb as that whole write up makes it sound, however it is also a laugh. In one scene, a drone puppet cuts a dude's head off while he's taking a leak and his head falls into the toilet and he pisses on it for a bit before his body falls down. Hardcore.
Should you watch it? It lacks the charm that makes the higher tier Puppet Master films a treat (honestly, some of them are good!) but it has it's moments. As with any lackluster horror movie, you'll end up just sticking it out for the gore.
- BlackKklansman - 24th August -
Earlier on this list I said that I felt Three Billboards was my favourite film of the year, followed by Rampage. Well unfortunately for Rampage I wrote that statement before seeing BlackKklansman, so it'd better relegate itself to third place sharpish. Taking on Three Billboards for the top ranking was always going to be a nigh on impossible, but hell it came damn close. BlackKklansmen follows the true story (though with the usual cinematic liberties taken) of Ron Stallworth, who manages to infiltrate a Klan chapter in Colorado and thwart their plans of violent attacks against black activists rallying in the area. From the trailer and the title I expected a Spike Lee helmed homage to blaxploitation movies, however I was muchly surprised to find instead a much more intelligent and serious film, though still with an ever so slightly present snippet of blaxpoiltion DNA as well as some genuinely funny comedic moments.
Spike Lee tackles a number of issues you would expect to find along the way in a film that's plot revolved around a black man infiltrating the klan, however Lee goes the extra mile when showing the characters', though notably Ron's, interactions and opinions on both the radical black activists and the Klan. Ron seems to find issue with the exact beliefs of the activists, specifically their beliefs about the police and how they can achieve their goals of equality, however Lee never lingers too much on the criticism of the activists as he makes a point to convey what exactly they are angry about, which is made loud and clear in what is possibly the film's most haunting scene. What makes this interesting is how Lee uses the events of the movie to draw a distinct parallel to modern times, giving a very strong argument in response to Trump's "blame on both sides" statement following the 2017 Charlottesville tragedy, which is also features at the end of the film. Violence and hate should never be the response to violence and hate, and there should be faith in the police service to protect people from it so they never feel the need to retaliate themselves, however when that faith collapses and the situation becomes so horrific for one side of the nation, what choice do those people have but to push back and save themselves until someone decides to make things right? Powerful stuff, and the fact a message like this can be interlaced with comedic moments is an impressive feat, so kudos to Mr. Lee.
Should you watch it? Absolutely, easily one of the greatest films of the year.
- Mandy - 12th October -
Mandy was another film that I went into with much hype, only to leave completely devoid of satisfaction. Unlike Hereditary which I hyped myself for given the reviews, Mandy was a victim of its trailer. When I watched the Mandy trailer I found myself very excited for what I perceived to be some kind've heavy metal inspired crazy Nick Cage rampage movie, laced with extensive gore, blood red lighting, and oversized chainsaws. I didn't get a full feel for the plot though so I checked a synopsis and learnt it was a revenge flick, which only added to my excitement as I believe vengeful crazy Nick Cage is the best kind've crazy Nick Cage. I was sold. At least I was until about the hour mark, when I began to question whether I could be bothered to finish what was quickly becoming one of the most boring films I'd seen this year. I understand some directors wish to tell a story through visuals, setting a scene and slowly easing you into a certain state of mind before ripping all from under you and giving the dramatic tonal shift a bigger impact, but fuck me when it becomes this much of an ordeal to power through it then you need to reconsider your tactics. The problem with these early scenes in Mandy is that it doesn't take long to read and understand what part of the story the scene is trying to convey to you, and yet it continues to play out well beyond any realm of enjoyment, and I often found myself sitting there with a paused sentence in my head awaiting the next sentence to be read to me.
I allowed this up until a certain point, however the scene in which Mandy discusses her father killing some birds in front of her is when the film really began to test my patience. Holy shit, I never knew I could be so bored listening to a story about some guy smashing in a bunch of birds, even Cage's reaction to the story seemed to mirror my level of complete and utter disinterest in an otherwise horrific event. By the time Mandy was taken to the cult I had to skip forward to see when the good stuff I'd been promised in the trailer happened. An hour and a half in. Leaving about half an hours' worth of bloodshed and mayhem that made up most of the trailer. I dunno, maybe I hated it moreso because I'd felt cheated from what was promised to what I received, but even if I went in blind I think I'd have still struggled to finish this movie. Also if you're going to use red lighting in your film Mr. Cosmatos, be aware that when using it to light most of the fucking film, it stops being an interesting use of lighting and becomes the norm. Take a fucking leaf out of Argento's book why dontcha.
Should you watch it? Unless you plan to skip to the final half hour of power, I'd give this one big fuck no.
- Halloween - 19th October -
Halloween '18 certainly could have been a lot better, but the few shimmers of greatness it had to offer were more than enough to have me leave the cinema satisfied. The film takes an interesting route with the plot, in seeing a present day Laurie Strode still dealing with the trauma inflicted on her by Michael,a trauma she has inadvertently passed on to another two generations of her family. Scenes that tackled this rather dark subject matter were the definite highlights of the film, all of which seemed to echo Michael's doctor at the start of the film, in which he questions the creation of a monster by a monster. It certainly works too, as we see Laurie has spent the past 40 years preparing for Michael's possible escape at the expense of her own family, almost having to become Michael herself in order to combat him. It's a great angle to go on, and it makes for some fantastic nods and references to the first film, references of which are perfectly placed and subtle enough to ensure even if you hadn't seen the first films you wouldn't feel left out.
Sadly though the film is marred by an uninteresting teenage subplot, which I feel was either shoehorned in because what's a Halloween film without some teenage fatalities, or were heavily edited down to save on run time. There's also a few comedic scenes, most of which feel unnecessary or downright cringe-worthy in their execution. One scene that worked was definitely the babysitter scene, however when the young kid continues to cut one-liners upon Michael's arrival the comedy begins to feel unwelcome. Even the plot point set up to deliver Michael to Laurie, who would otherwise not have bothered with her given his killings seem to be entirely at random with little to no motivation, (again, a great angle to cement Michael as an entity of pure evil) feels like a first draft idea that somehow managed to survive all the edits and cuts. I'm sure I could make a joke about the scene being a bit like Laurie Strode because it survived all the cuts but I'm not sure how to make it work. Fuck it.
Should you see it? If you're a fan of the franchise overall you'll be right at home, however I imagine most cinema goers and fans of Halloween 1 and Halloween 1 alone might not fare as well with the negative aspects of the movie.
.:: FILM OF THE YEAR ::.
It's gotta be Three Billboards. To release a film in January and have it hold its own for the entire duration of that year is nothing short of phenomenal. But Three Billboards did just that, leaving a lasting impression on me that has stayed with me up until my publishing of this article, and no doubt it'll stay with me for much longer.
.:: RUNNER UP ::.
Sorry Rampage, you were gold standard stupidity but that doesn't quite cut it when faced with a genuine cinematic triumph like BlackKklansman. Sadly though it still wasn't quite enough to wrestle the crown from Three Billboards, but that's not to say BlackKklansman is in any way a failure - it just simply wasn't as fantastic as its victor. So my films of the year include one film about the police being dicks but eventually trying to atone for their sins, and another about the police seeming to atone for past sins but ending up being complete dicks by the end. Cool.
Another day, another category down. Pop back in a few days again when I'll be looking at my TV shows of 2018.
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